Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I found my heart and left it behind.

China, oh China, my heart belongs to thee. Only you have been constant. Only you have been true. I could not remove you from my heart with surgeries, potions, or spells. I would never even try. From the moment I met you, the very breath of you intoxicated me. I feel drunk on you still. Feet wobbly, limbs unsteady, mind fogged over with the taste of you. My only cure--to drink you in again. Let me come home to you.









Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Have No Words

Last semester I read a short work by Shi Tiesheng called "我与地坛" or "The Temple of Earth and I" in which Shi wrote some lessons he had learned about humanity by watching the people at the park there. Aside from identifying with his ways of people watching, I found something in his words that really resonated with me. At the end he writes as if addressing the park itself:

要是有些事我没说,地坛,你别以为是我忘了,我什么也没忘,但是有些事只适合收藏。不能说,也不能想,却又不能忘。它们不能变成语言,它们无法变成语言, 一旦变成语言就不再是它们了。它们是一片朦胧的温馨与寂寥,是一片成熟的希望与绝望,它们的领地只有两处:心与坟墓 。
 
If there are some things I do not say, Temple of Earth, don't think I've forgotten. I have forgotten nothing, but some things are only fit for storing up. You cannot speak them or even think them, but you cannot forget them either. They cannot become words; it is impossible for them to become words. The moment they are turned to words, they are no longer themselves.They are a hazy slice of  tenderness and of loneliness, of mature hopes and of despair. Their only two domains, the heart and the grave.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Restored

Sometimes all the courage and compassion that the world holds seems to accumulate in one place and time. Sometimes a single conversation is enough to restore a person's faith in humankind.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Me? A Princess?

After sharing an entertaining apartment breakfast with Curtis on Sunday, he wrote a song about me. The references to our morning conversation made me chuckle, but he also added a lot that was purely Curtis-created, all of which was extremely sweet and very flattering. I don't deserve it, but I appreciate it. Thanks, Curtis! 

That girl Amanda next door
She's a mighty big heart
A princess in her castle
But boys don't try and get smart.
She's not your typical sweet girl
In a big poofy dress
She'll kick your wimpy butt
If you try to oppress.

She's inspired by Ghandi
And by Martin Luther King.
She could save the world
With only her pinky.
But don't be scared
Or intimidated
She's the nicest girl around
And she makes syrup.

She's beautiful and charming
And she knows Chinese.
She knows how to laugh
And she's kind of fun to tease.
She's ambitious
But she's humble
She will catch you if you stumble.
That girl Amanda--
She's a winner
And a catch.

That was the first song I've ever had written about me, and it couldn't have been nicer.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Compare and Contrast

The same question, two different answers.




Which do you believe?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Strength of Heroines

I recently watched Star Wars: Return of the Jedi with a few friends, and perhaps I was in a strange mood, but it struck me how little Princess Leia lives up to my ideals and even the apparent intentions of George Lucas, though she is a remarkably active woman for an action movie of the 1970s and 1980s.

Wikipedia describes her thus: "Princess Leia Organa is characterized as a driven, dedicated woman with a forceful — if sometimes abrasive — personality. A woman warrior, Leia frequently takes part in combat operations. She is an excellent marksman, missing rarely, if ever, with a blaster." 

If she's such an incredible warrior and such an incredible marksman, why is she forever needing to be rescued and slow to use a blaster? Let me point out:

1. She shows up at the Jabba the Hutt's lair dressed as a bounty hunter to rescue Han Solo. Aside from the pants that fit too well and the hips that swivel too much, she's doing a pretty good job. Only, hold on. She realizes Han doesn't know who she is, so she takes off her helmet and completely blows her disguise. Han couldn't even see her--he was still completely blind from being frozen in carbonite. Nope, she doesn't put her helmet back on. She leaves it off so she can be captured and chained as a slave to Jabba the Hutt. Tip #1: Disguises only work if you wear them.

2. After landing on Endor, our heroine and the rest of the crew find that imperial stormtroopers are waiting to ambush them. She's racing away from a stormtrooper on a speeder bike, but can't manage to outrun him. She doesn't seem to be quite sure what to do, so she ends up waiting until the stormtrooper pulls out a blaster and knocks her off her bike. Why couldn't she have pulled out a blaster? Wasn't she supposed to be "an excellent marksman, missing rarely, if ever, with a blaster?" I assume that means she's comfortable using one. Tip #2: Battles can only be won if you fight them.

3. My favorite part of the Endor ambush is when Leia falls off the speeder bike and decides to take a nap. When Luke falls off, he gets up and runs around trying to meet up with the rest of the crew and/or find something useful to do. Leia lies as if helpless and then curls up and goes to sleep. After all, everyone knows that girls can’t get up on their own—they have to be rescued, right? Don't worry; she takes off her helmet in this scene too. Why? Tell me why girls always have to be the weak link. Tip #3: Getting up is usually better than napping in case of battle (and it usually works if you make the effort). OR Girls can get up too.

Despite Princess Leia's outward strength and abilities (such as with a blaster), her inner weakness sometimes keeps her from making full use of her talents. 



Then I remembered Jane Eyre. Jane is the ultimate heroine--strong and independent, yet gentle and self-sacrificing. She is not a warrior, but she has remarkable inner strength. She was maltreated by the aunt who raised her, and at ten years old was sent to live at the austere Lowood School. Her aunt told the headmaster that she was a wicked and deceitful child, which ensured her continued abuse. Through it all, Jane maintained her integrity and her dignity.

She was present when Mr. Brocklehurst, headmaster of Lowood, accused a girl of ungodly vanity for having curly hair. Even though Miss Temple explained that the girl's hair was naturally curly, Mr. Brocklehurst humiliated the girl by cutting off all her hair in front of the whole school. Jane stood up with her and forced him to cut her hair too. Jane's quietly passionate response to the injustice of Mr. Brocklehurst and her willingness to make personal sacrifices are evident here and these same qualities are seen over and over through the novel.

Jane's uncompromising dignity and candor shaped her relationship with Mr. Rochester, who had experienced much of betrayal and broken ideals in his life. As a result, to most people, he appeared intimidating and callous. Jane's unwillingness to bend to him or accept fear of him even though he was both a man and her master, resulted in her being the only one who he managed to let get close to him, until through her steady influence he learned to repent, forgive, and heal. Though love developed between them, circumstances prevented them from being legally married. For a moment, she considered staying with him anyway. The narrative allows us a look at her internal dialogue: 
      '"Who in the world cares for you? Or who will be injured by what you do?' Still indomitable was the reply--'I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God, sanctioned by man.'"

Later, she spent some time living with her distant cousin St. John Rivers and his two sisters. She grew to respect and admire St. John and love his sisters. St. John's dream was to move to India and work as a missionary, and he asked Jane to marry him and go with him. His reason for wanting to marry her was not love, but his perception of her compatibility with his future plans. Jane's reply? "I scorn your idea of love. I scorn the counterfeit sentiment you offer: yes, St. John, and I scorn you when you offer it." Though she recognized St. John's upstanding character, and acknowledged the chance to be taken care of for the rest of her life, she could not think of marrying him because he lacked passion and feeling. Jane had never been taken care of in her life, and knew little of being on the receiving end of respect, but she stood true to herself, to the surprise of the unfailingly proper St. John.

Jane acknowledged her weaknesses, but refused to be taken advantage of for them. She was strong despite it all. True, no physical battles were fought (except once, with her cousin when she was a child), but she maintained strength of character, sense of self, and sense of what is right. 







**Disclaimer: The Star Wars movies are fun and a foundational feature of American pop culture. They also happen to contain a number of interesting metaphors and quotable lines. The characters in Star Wars are imperfect and each has his/her own strengths and weaknesses; in this way they are somewhat representative of the Greek tragic hero and people in general. Jane Eyre is also human and imperfect, as Charlotte Brönte intended her to be. My comment is on the contrast between outward strength and inward strength as demonstrated by Leia in Episode VI and Jane Eyre.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

O Henry Bars

Once upon a time, a lad named Henry found a girl named Sarah who truly caught his fancy. She was everything he dreamed of, in just the right combination--clever, sweet, genuine, and beautiful. Unfortunately for Henry, competition for Sarah was rather steep. Every eligible bachelor in town seemed to have his eye on Sarah. Henry, who was uneducated, but steady and good, worked hard to deserve her.

On Sarah's birthday, all the young men came bearing gifts--beautiful flowers, a new sweater, a necklace, a bow for her hair. All precious and lovely. Though he had no money, Henry crafted a special treat, a secret recipe taught him by his mother. Sarah, sweet and gentle as ever, thanked him, and picked one up to taste. As soon as she did, she was overcome. "Oh, Henry!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck. This secret recipe was kept in the family and passed down from generation to generation. The family started to call them "O Henry Bars" to commemorate the treat that brought Henry and Sarah together.

And now the recipe is being passed on to you.

O Henry Bars

1 cup light Karo syrup
1 cup sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup peanuts*
2 1/2 cups Rice Krispies**

Mix peanut butter, Rice Krispies, and peanuts together. Cook the Karo syrup and sugar together and bring to a boil for 1 minute. Pour over peanut butter mixture and mix. Put into a 9x13 greased pan.

Topping:
6 oz butterscotch chips
6 oz milk chocolate chips

Melt together and spread over top of mixture. Cool and cut into squares.

*or cashews
**or Cocoa Krispies